


i believe in you

by zachistrash



Category: Produce 101 (TV), UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Co-workers, Fluff, Love at First Sight, M/M, Minor Character Death, Wooseok-centric, absolutely not, am i good at writing?, hooded figure?, i literally describe everything with metaphors because wooseok is an artist, let’s hope i finish it, literally cuties, not all of the the x1 members because i’m lazy, seungseok are best friends, seungwoo is the convenience store manager, went for the creepy vibes to break up the fluff, when u wanna read some yocat au but theres like none so you write one instead, wooseok is just wooseok, yocat, yohan is a former taekwondo champion, yohan likes to compliment wooseok because wooseok is a pretty boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 17:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20474831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zachistrash/pseuds/zachistrash
Summary: wooseok works at a convenience store and, one day, yohan appears.he doesn’t know it yet, but his life will be turned upside down, but will it be better or for worse?





	1. one.

“Happy birthday!” Seungyoun congratulated Wooseok. 

“Thanks.”

“What will you wish for?”

“I don’t believe in wishes.” 

Wooseok was about to blow out the candles on his cake until Seungyoun covered Wooseok’s mouth. 

“Nope, you’re gonna make a wish or I will eat the cake without you.”

“I don’t want to.”

Seungyoun opened his mouth and positioned it over the cake.

“Sure looks good Seok, right?”

“Okay.. okay,” The slightly younger male sighed in disbelief, “I wish for.. a good year.” Wooseok quickly blew out the candles, before Seungyoun could prevent him. 

“Seok, that was such a boring wish.” Wooseok rolled his eyes in response and dug his spoon into the cake. “Mmm Mocha!” Wooseok’s eyes widened from the flavour.

“You baked this well, Seungyoun.”

“I mean, I am multi-talented. I’m good-looking, can sing, rap, dance, plays spor- okay I’ll stop..” Seungyoun sighed, “It’s gross that you don’t believe in wishes.”

“They don’t come true, Youn.”

“Well, you need to believe in something.”

And with that Seungyoun’s phone rang, breaking the conversation’s flow.

“They’re telling me to go to work.”

“It’s okay, go”

“Are you sure?”

Wooseok nodded in response and Seungyoun left Wooseok all alone, on his birthday. Again.

But take that with a grain of salt, by no means was Seungyoun “a bad friend”, he was actually a very good one, the problem was that Seungyoun was Wooseok’s only friend. Wooseok was not the type to be overly energetic like his friend, but he was calm and collected and every word he said seemed almost calculated. Since he had only a few co-workers at the convenience store and barely interacted with them, he had no one to talk to at work.

Despite the pity your feeling for his seemingly boring life, he was content with the way his life worked. He liked the routine and the quietness of his life. He most certainly enjoyed water-colouring as he loved the way the colours interacted with the page and with each other, the beauty in simplicity. He liked to paint things which represented a meaning to him, like this bookshelf, to the naked eye, it would seem like a normal well-kept household item, but to Wooseok? It represented every feeling possible to mankind. Love, happiness, anger, sadness and the rest of the complex emotions human could feel was on this bookshelf. But Wooseok would never share the cryptic meanings behind his paintings because it was one of the many things that he kept reserved under the thick cloak that surrounded him; Seungyoun, need I remind is Wooseok’s closest and only friend, has never delved deep into the fog of secrets and Seungyoun knows this, he knows not to delve too deep into the cloudy abyss behind Wooseok’s eyes. 

Maybe this is why they have always kept a light friendship, although Wooseok knows no other, he does not know much about Seungyoun beyond the smiley joker. He was sure that this was just a façade that Seungyoun put on to avoid getting too close to everyone. But he didn’t mind that there was distance, because who doesn’t like space? Space allows Wooseok to breathe and not be suffocated by the ups and downs of friendship and space allows him to think alone.

Wooseok sat back on the grey couch, hugged onto the pillow and continued to devour the cake before him, but he kindly saved some for his friend because Seungyoun would rage at Wooseok for eating his entire cake. He flicked through channel by channel until he flicked to one of his favourite shows, ‘The Blue Planet’, although he didn’t understand a word being spoken on TV, he loved the way the underwater sea creatures acted so gracefully. Wooseok could go on and on about how ‘The Blue Planet’ was superior to it’s sister show ‘Planet Earth’ but he wouldn’t dare speak about it, as it was just another piece of him hidden away. 

He pushed up his glasses up from his nose as he finished up the slices of cake he took and proceeded to wash up the dishes. While at the sink, he was thinking deep and hard until..

“Ouch.” Wooseok looked down and hesaw the cut he got from the knife. He quickly ran up and got one of those plain convenience store plasters and wrapped it around his index finger. 

When he finished washing up, he started to wash his face as, his younger self, used to have many, many, many pimples and only God knows how much Wooseok does not want to go back. After carefully washing his face, he walked up to his bed and began to sleep. Thoughts began to drift away until his eyes slowly closed. His heart was lonely but Wooseok was not going to let that get in the way of his life. Wooseok doesn’t need anybody, or so he thinks.


	2. two.

Wooseok’s day began as usual. He entered the convenience store wearing the blue jumper and black trousers as uniform. He sat down at the till and noticed the new security cameras that they placed in and one of them was facing the counter, and consequently, Wooseok. He glared at his face as he began to shoot up poses, shooting peace signs and hearts one after the other.

A voice interrupted his sudden antics, “You look good on the monitor.” Wooseok looked up from the monitor and met the eyes of a male peeking over the counter discreetly, who was dressed in the same uniform as him. The boy smiled and Wooseok’s heart skipped a beat, maybe it was the bunny teeth or the fact that he was caught off guard and was surprised. But he could feel his face redden with embarrassment and it seemed like the silence between them would last forever and it’s clear Wooseok was not going to be the one to break it.

“I’m here because I transferred from a different district,” the boy smiled shyly, probably realising the awkward nature of the situation, “The manager told me to meet him here.” 

“Ah yes.” A familiar voice spoke from behind Wooseok.

“I am Han Seungwoo.. The manager and your shift starts now.” 

“Wait, Seungwoo-ssi, but this is my shift?”

“Did you not see my e-mail? All employees take their shifts in pairs because of all the criminals in this darn city.” Wooseok wanted to get angry since he loved the quiet surroundings of the store, where the only sound being made was the humming of the open refrigerators. But now his plans were ruined by an albeit cute co-worker. Wooseok was deep in thought when the boy spoke up again “Hello, I am Kim Yohan.” 

Wooseok wanted to roll his eyes but he kept it within him. “I am Kim Wooseok.” He responded, hoping that this was all the talking they were going to be doing. Yet Yohan continued to pry at Wooseok, unknowingly, and it seemed like Wooseok’s patience was running thin. “I’m 21.” Yohan stated, clearly waiting for a response.

“Ah.. I’m 23.” 

Yohan smiled at Wooseok and he couldn’t do anything but smile back, although it seemed like Wooseok hated the boy, whenever he gave that rabbit smile, Wooseok can’t help but admire the way his mouth opens wide and his eyes become crescent moons.

It seems like the boy wasn’t too bad anymore for Wooseok. He began to become accustomed to Yohan’s incessant chatter just like the hum of the refrigerators.

Yohan, suddenly, got up and ran out of the store. Wooseok, in shock, was frozen, as, firstly, he was getting used to having a real co-worker and, secondly, said co-worker decided to flee from the job premises. The store felt quiet but this wasn’t a good quiet, it felt like a symphony without the lead instruments or a hit pop song without the words. 

“Um.. okay. Guess I’m alone. Again.” He thought to himself, silently.

Yet, Wooseok seemed way too quick to judge, as usual, because, minutes later, Yohan came back, sweaty and panting. 

“Erm? Yohan? Are you okay?” Wooseok peered over the counter, continuously staring at the disheveled boy. Yohan, rather than replying and wasting his breath, handed him this blue plastic bag, in which contained kids plasters. 

“What is this for?” Yohan pointed straight at Wooseok. 

“For me?” Yohan nodded.

“Okay, you’re gonna need to start talking because I have no idea why you got me children’s plasters.”

“I.. got them... for you.. because your plasters.. are quite boring.. but the nearest.. pharmacy.. was a thirty minute.. walk.. so I ran as fast.. as I could.” 

Wooseok wanted to slap Yohan for such an unnecessary gift, if you could even call this a present, 

“Why did he even run so far?” Wooseok eyebrows furrowed. Yohan, finally regaining full breathing control, looked up and Wooseok realised how much he towered over him and how even the sweatdrops looked great, the way the light bounced off the water seemed diamond-like. Even the way his chest raised quickly made Wooseok’s heart flutter.

“Seriously? Wooseok, you don’t know anything about him.” Seungyoun’s voice seemed to follow Wooseok everywhere, even in his thoughts.

“I mean those plasters were really boring and..” Wooseok was slowly paying less attention from what Yohan’s lips were saying and more to what they looked like.

“God, Wooseok.. why are you being so desperate, are you so deprived of human contact that you can no longer meet anyone without having a crush on them?” 

“I just wanted to make a good first impression.” Wooseok snapped out of his thoughts and returned back to the real world.

“Thank you.” 

It was the end of their shift and Wooseok was ready to watch ‘The Blue Planet’; Yohan and him were finishing up their conversation. The boys said their goodbyes and went straight home. But something about Yohan lingered within Wooseok. His smile, his giggles and even his constant blabber echoed in his mind, constantly yelling like an alarm ringing him to wake up from the fantasy that he was beginning to sink into. 

“Think of me when you put on the plasters, hyung.” Yohan told him while they were separating ways and something about his charming nature made Wooseok’s stomach feel sick, not like he was ill, but a feeling of euphoria. The feeling in your stomach when you’re about to take the plunge on the rollercoaster. And Wooseok knew he needed to get grounded, but he could not fight fate because the rollercoaster was rising and rising and, at one point, it was going to drop. Wooseok needed to remind himself that Yohan was no different to any other co-worker. Of course.. they don’t have his charming smile and alluring charms but he was still some other normal boy, Wooseok could try to convince himself that he was just like everyone else, but something deep within him knew that he was a welcome change in his life. 

But, maybe this was too much of a change for Wooseok, as he was watching his favourite show, the sound was, although incomprehensible for Wooseok, became boring. His go-to-show was uninteresting? Absolutely unbelievable for him and yet that is what it became. So he decided to paint something, anything. But the only things that came to mind was the younger male from work and even his thoughts gave him a warm feeling in his cheeks. However, his daydreaming was not going to last long as he was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

“What’s up, Seok!”

“Of course it’s you.”

“I came for cake and I hope I’m not disappointed~.” Seungyoun liked to act cute to annoy Wooseok and this time was not an exception. Wooseok rolled his eyes in response and placed the cake on the table and Seungyoun gently plopped next to Wooseok. He would not allow anyone to sit as close as Seungyoun did with him.

“This? Again??”

“Yes, I know. I’m bored.”

“Seok? You’re bored of Blue Planet??”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Wooseok didn’t know why or, closer to the truth, he didn’t want to acknowledge why. He didn’t want to realise that he was no longer sinking in the fantasy but drowning in the daydreams.

“I don’t know, maybe I want to try something new.” Seungyoun gasped at Wooseok’s reply.

“Don’t be so overdramatic.” sighed Wooseok. Seungyoun laughed at his friend, “Well what do you want do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.. let’s eat fried chicken?”

“Chicken sounds good..”

Seungyoun proceeded into the kitchen and phoned up the closest chicken store. He could hear the mumbles of Seungyoun through the walls separating them. Seungyoun was such a loud talker and, when he was on the phone, his volume seemed to become louder. But Wooseok didn’t mind, as they certainly didn’t judge each other for how they were, despite their many complaints about each other.

About half an hour later, there was a knock on the door. “Get the chicken, Seok.” Seungyoun yelled from upstairs. Wooseok opened the door and saw the giggly boy look all tired.

“Yohan?”

“Hyung? Is this for you?” Yohan handed him his order.”

“Yes, thank you,” Wooseok glared at the boy’s droopy eyelids, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just working three jobs. But I think it’s cool because I get to experience many different things.” The younger male smiled wide but this didn’t convince Wooseok. He scanned the boy and saw a bruise peeking out from under his short sleeve and Yohan quickly covered this with his hand. “Anyway, I need to get back to the Chicken Counter..” Wooseok wanted to tell him not to and to sit down and eat with him, but what could he do? Wooseok was just his co-worker and they just met. He watched Yohan leave until a hooded figure, in the bright evening glow, came behind Yohan and punched him in the stomach. The sudden blow to Yohan made him stumble backwards and Wooseok dashed outside to prevent further conflict. However, the assailant threw Wooseok off of Yohan and continue to attack the younger male. 

“Seungyoun! Help! Please.” Wooseok pushed the attacker into the road and Seungyoun appeared and saw his friend tending the delivery man. What could Seungyoun do, except return the favour? The boy punched the hooded figure around the face but it seemed like he had other plans. The assailant was outnumbered and pulled out a dagger.

“Not today, Youn.” He mumbled to himself as he staggered backwards. The attacker continued by running away and Seungyoun turned around to face the two boys. 

“Are you guys okay?”

“Help me get him inside.”

Seungyoun carried him inside, while Wooseok grabbed a white towel and a tub of water to tend to his wounds. “I’m going to head to the police station and ask them to file a report.” Seungyoun’s voice trembled.

Wooseok nodded.


	3. three.

Yohan had a busted lip and a bruised eye and it seemed like the stranger attacked his stomach too. Wooseok grabbed the towel and dabbed around the area of his lip, soaking up the blood that was there. Despite what had occured, Yohan smiled at Wooseok. 

“Why are you smiling? Did you not see what happened to you?” Wooseok’s voice shaken with fear.

“I’m smiling because you’re here”

“What?” Wooseok heard entirely what the younger male said and he laughed awkwardly.

The butterflies in Wooseok’s stomach were flying, flapping their wings. Wooseok could feel his cheeks warm up from the younger’s words. The way his voice struck pangs within his heart so quickly made his stomach do rolls.

“Your eyes look nice in this light, hyung.. too bad my eyes don’t.” Yohan was referring to his bruised up right eye.

“You still look nice Yohan, to me.” His heart raced as Yohan put his soft hands on Wooseok’s cheek.

“You’re cute, hyung.” And there it was, his heart was racing fast but in sync with the younger boy’s.

“I think I have a first aid kit upstairs.” Wooseok quickly got up and walked at a fast pace up the stairs. His heart could take no more of the heat. He slowly walk towards the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit. 

When he got downstairs, Yohan’s eyes sparkled in the moonlight and his smile, although bruised, still lit up Wooseok’s cheeks with a scarlet glow. Yohan’s lips had stop bleeding and his eye was beginning to swell down. Wooseok told Yohan to tend to his stomach wounds himself but Yohan pouted and said “But I’m hurt.”

Wooseok really didn’t want to do this, so he handed Yohan an ice pack and told him to put it under his shirt. 

They spent the rest of the evening talking and watching Yohan’s favourite movies: ‘Pulp Fiction’ and ‘The Mummy’. They were movies Wooseok would never care to watch if not for Yohan’s presence. Wooseok was paying attention to the movie when he felt Yohan’s arm sneak around his waist. See.. Wooseok had butterflies in his stomach and when butterflies see pretty flowers they’re attracted to it and, to Wooseok, the pretty flower was “Yohan.” Seungyounpaused since he was out of breath, “are you okay?

“Yeah, hyung. Thanks for asking.”

Wooseok stood up and, as a result, removed Yohan’s warm hands away from his waist. Wooseok cleared his throat to break the silence, which, for Wooseok, seemed to last years. 

“Let’s eat chicken!”

“It looks good.”

“Hyung, I have to go because I have work to do.” 

“But I’d.. I mean we would like you to stay?”

“Sorry hyung, It’s urgent. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Bye Yohan” Seungyoun waved goodbye and Wooseok, involuntarily, pouted.

“Don’t pout, hyung.. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Wooseok, realising what his face looked like, turned bright red like a traffic light telling himself to stop. 

The sofa had never felt so empty as Wooseok and Seungyoun both munched on the chicken in silence. Not an awkward silence from them, but a sign of comfort that they find in each other. Although they weren’t as close as your typical friends, they meant more to each other than they’d like to admit. They watched the remainder of ‘The Mummy’ for the rest of the night. 

“Why are we even watching this, Seok?”

“I don’t know, Yohan likes this movie.”

“And what else does Yohan like?”

“What do you mean?”

“You?”

Wooseok eyes opened wide. 

“Yah, we’re just co-workers.”

Just co-workers, Wooseok couldn’t or wouldn’t even go there. He was okay with Seungyoun being his only friend. 

“The question is, Seok, do you want to be anything more?”

Wooseok sighed. He had never thought of that before, he just liked the way he felt when they spent time together; right now, they are just co-workers but what about the future? Will they only go as far as friends? or will he open his heart? 

Wooseok thought for a few moments and couldn’t come to an answer. 

“Why do I even need to think of the future? I’m only 23 and there is plenty of time to like someone else.” Wooseok spoke so quickly that he hadn’t caught onto what he had just said.

“So you do like him?” Seungyoun’s eyebrows went up and down, continuing to tease Wooseok. All Wooseok could do was roll his eyes, he didn’t want to lie. He wasn’t the type to lie about such small things because Wooseok thinks his feelings for Yohan are small, just a speck on a mirror. Seungyoun decided not to pry at Wooseok and, after finishing all his chicken and half of Wooseok’s chicken, which he didn’t want, he decided to head home.

“Stay safe, Youn”

“You too, Shin”

Wooseok went up to sleep and his dreams were a fantasy, which he denies to confess, a secret yearning kept only to him. 


	4. four.

Wooseok opened his eyes and the light bounced across the white walls of his room. He always loved the way the sun hit his window, the scattered lights fraying through his blinds. 

Wooseok went downstairs wearing his favourite pyjamas, which Seungyoun so kindly gifted on Christmas, when he heard a knock at the door.

It was Yohan.

“Oh god! I look absolutely dreadful.” Wooseok thought to himself.

“Hyung, let’s have breakfast together.” Yohan’s voice indicated that this wasn’t a question, a secret demand behind his voice. Wooseok agreed with a smile and Yohan, being his height, patted his head. Wooseok would never admit it but he liked the fact that Yohan was much taller than him; to Wooseok, their heights were perfect for each other. Yohan grabbed onto Wooseok’s shoulders as he dragged him into the kitchen.

“Here’s some pancake batter, hyung.”

“No no no.”

Yohan’s head tilted slightly to the side, not understanding why he was rejected.

“We make pancakes from scratch in this house.”

Yohan smiled and giggled as Wooseok searched around his kitchen fro the ingredients for their breakfast. 

“You’re cute, hyung”

Wooseok pushed up the glasses from his nose and glanced at Yohan. He liked the acrobatics that his stomach does when he calls him cute, the way the hummingbird in his chest sang melodies of love.Yohan slowly made his way towards Wooseok and gave him a back hug. 

“Stay like this, hyung.” Wooseok covered his rosy cheeks with his hands. He could feel Yohan’s breath on his hair, it was like the summer breeze on a hot day. 

“Your pyjamas are nice.” Yohan glanced at the pale white cat-themed attire. 

“Seungyoun got them for me.” Suddenly, Yohan became quiet. He could sense a feeling of disappointment fill up the room. Yohan gazed outside the window, looking at the gleaming sun outside. “The view from your house is nice.” Yohan stated, eyes glued to the landscape.

“I guess you could say so.” Wooseok stood next to Yohan and joined him in peering outside. However, it seemed that Wooseok was the only one paying attention to the view, as Yohan was admiring Wooseok’s face. His eyes scanned every features that he could see: from the fluffy hair and sparkling eyes to the way Wooseok’s lips rested on his face.

“You’re pretty.” Wooseok looked at Yohan in surprise. 

“I mean.. the views pretty, right?” Yohan giggled awkwardly to prevent an unrelenting silence. Wooseok couldn’t or wouldn’t forget those words because it made him smile.

Yohan secretly put flour on his finger and dabbed it on Wooseok’s nose. 

“Yah, Kim Yohan!” 

Wooseok chased Yohan with his two hands raised out in front of him and Yohan, abruptly, stopped, causing Wooseok to bump into him. Maybe it was the heat of the moment, the butterflies in his stomach yearning for the taste of sweet nectar or the fact that the gas from the stove was on but Wooseok wrapped his arms behind Yohan’s neck. He stood there appreciating Yohan’s beauty in the morning glow. Yohan was handsome, not rugged neither pretty. He looked and exemplified manliness in his face. Yohan began to lean down. Wooseok’s stomach churning and his brain overloaded with intense emotions. The rollercoaster was about to drop and Wooseok’s mind was running with emotions. He was drowning and he could no longer breathe. He was turning blue, not in a physical sense, but he was turning blue from being smothered with his feelings. It was overwhelming. He needed to do something or he might die.

“Sorry, I can’t do this.” 

Wooseok stepped away from the younger male. Yohan’s face frozen with embarrassment.

“No, this is entirely my fault,” the younger boy stood up, “I shouldn’t have come here, we only met yesterday. I was overstepping the boundaries.. I think I’ll see myself out.” Wooseok wanted to tell Yohan that he was wrong, confess that he secretly wished that he would appear in front of his house, that he secretly begged to himself to let Yohan into his heart. But Yohan wasn’t wrong, they met only yesterday. Sure, to Wooseok, it felt like he had known Yohan his entire life and Yohan already made a big impact on his life already. But Wooseok needed time to think, Wooseok was normally a calculated person but he had been acting reckless and thoughtless. Wooseok finished cooking the batter and ate the pancakes, in pure silence. His thoughts dragging him through the uncomfortableness of the future shifts in the convenience store.

After putting on his uniform, he headed towards the store and he was greeted formally by Yohan. Wooseok thought this was weird but, considering their interaction that morning, it could’ve been worse. Yohan was being quieter than normal, an unsure silence. Wooseok could not decide whether it was unbearable or comforting. In almost an instant, the quiet convenience store was becoming louder. The hushed hum was beginning to bellow. A loud scream piercing his ears causing him to flinch.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Yohan said, softly, from the furthest point of the counter. He could feel Yohan retract from Wooseok, fuelled by something unknown; anger, embarrassment or pain. Wooseok only nodded in response. 

Seungwoo peered around the corner and could sense the awkwardness felt by both parties and slowly backed away into his office.

Yohan, not being able to bear the uncomfortable feelings within, did not run away or ignore Wooseok, instead, he folded one of the flyers on the desk and threw it at Wooseok, not directly at him but, aimed and thrown with perfect strength, so that it landed right in front of Wooseok.

Yohan was a former taekwondo athlete, hence his control in strength, and he had the body to prove it, so maybe Wooseok peeked while Yohan was putting the ice under his shirt. It was an ‘accident’, Wooseok promises. It seems he was capable of lying, even to himself. Wooseok was a very former high school student, like five years ago type of ‘former’, and was not very interested in the sports but rather the arts, he liked the theatrics of theatre, art and especially music and dance. Even though he was not an athlete, Wooseok was not on the larger side, despite all the ramen he ate at night crying to Beluga Whale sounds (Seungyoun walked in one time and he will not let it go). Wooseok was not the type to hit the gym every weekend, regardless of how many times Seungyoun wants him to join, yet Seungyoun was always jealous of the slightly younger male’s butt. Yes, what a trivial thing to be jealous of but(t) it was a quality Wooseok had and Yohan may or may not have admired quite a few times, even with the short amount of time they’ve known each other.

The paper airplane, despite a perfect shot, had a 200% ‘fatality’ rate, giving both Yohan and Wooseok a paper cut. As Wooseok opened the letter, he could sense the stares of the younger on him, like two bright spotlights waiting for a song to be sung, the words “You’re pretty, hyung.” were written on the flyer in marker. It seemed like Yohan could make him smile, even if Yohan was hurt. Yohan slid across the floor in those wheeled chairs. 

“Here.” Yohan plastered Wooseok’s index finger, again. 

“We’re matching.” 

Yohan, a dog, and Wooseok, a cat. It seemed like they were tied to these animals like they were tied to each other. Yohan was a smiley, hyper boy that showed his love through actions, while Wooseok was a quiet, shy boy that showed his love by letting them get close to him.

Wooseok could do nothing but smile at the younger. It seemed like Wooseok couldn’t do anything but smile at Yohan. He just wanted to hug him or.. no Wooseok couldn’t do that, he wasn’t the type to just let anyone into his life. Seungyoun spent months maybe even years slowly nibbling his way into Wooseok’s life. Wooseok was going to put Yohan through the same.

“I know what you’re thinking.”

“Huh?”

“I’m not giving up.”

“What do you mean?”

“I like you, hyung.”

Four words, it took only four words and the rollercoaster was heading down. It was quickly storming downwards. Wooseok’s hair flying in the wind as he quickly approached the bottom and, from his point of view, it was a long fall. The adrenaline was rushing through his veins.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay, hyung. I like you and I know you like me too.”

Yohan quickly wheeled away to the edge of the counter and greeted a customer. Wooseok did the only thing he could do. Smile.

“I like you, hyung.” “I like you, hyung.” “I like you, hyung.” 

Just four words and it was only just beginning.


	5. five.

Wooseok could not sleep that night. Yohan’s words could not escape my mind.

“Why is this guy affecting me so much? His smile, the way his voice was like butter and the way he giggled. Why can’t he just get out of my head.”

_ ping _

What kind of person texts in the middle of the night? None other than Seungyoun, who even owned a key to his place and Wooseok owned one for Seungyoun’s, despite the use bring initially intended for emergency, they use it just to barge into each other’s houses. But this time it was not Seungyoun.

**unknown**

open your door.

Kim Wooseok was shaken to the core. He loved horror movies for the thrill factor. When he was younger, he used to hate them yet, every single Saturday, his parents loved having marathons, in spite of his distaste for the genre. Over the years, he slowly lost those fears and began to love the feeling of the thrill. But, every time he turned the lights off downstairs, he sprinted up the stairs, like he was being chased by a creature. This feeling was not thrill, but pure terror. Maybe, Wooseok was just overreacting and it was nothing.

_ping_

**unknown**

Kim Wooseok, I said open the door.

Now, he was completely justified for his terror, not only was someone at his door but they knew his name.

Wooseok, being the curious cat he was, tiptoed down the stairs and peered through the peep hole and it was none other than Kim Yohan. What? Why was he at the door? Why was his number unknown? Why was he talking so rudely? He opened the door and saw Yohan carrying a bag and some pillows and wearing a white shirt with blue shorts. 

“Why are you here?” By any means Wooseok did not mean this in a rude way, but he had a valid point. There was no reason for Yohan to be at his door at 11pm. 

“I had no where else to go, my flat was scattered with insects and the renter had to make us leave temporarily on short notice... and I had nowhere else to go, hyung. Please just for one night.” What was Wooseok gonna do, say no? Of course not. Wooseok nodded and allowed Yohan to stay here for the night. 

“Did you get a new number?”

“No?”

“Oh, then who texted me?”

“Not me.”

Wooseok showed Yohan the messages and even Yohan got chills. Why were they telling him to open his door if they weren’t there?

“I’ll protect you, hyung.”

Comforting words from Yohan seemed to come often. 

There seemed to be a problem. Wooseok did not have a spare room. When Wooseok told him this, Yohan replied saying “I can sleep downstairs on the sofa, it’s okay.” Wooseok felt bad, the rain was beginning to pour down and even the summer nights were not hot enough. Wooseok was going to regret this later on, he was sure of it. 

“You can sleep with me upstairs.” Wooseok stared at Yohan and he could tell he was pulling back a smile. 

“Thanks, hyung.”

They were both lying there on two different sides of the bed, embarrassment thickening the air.

“So you and Seungyoun hyung, how did you meet?”

“We met when we were young but we became friends..”

Wooseok never asked himself when he started to consider Seungyoun his friend. Seungyoun had been slowly chipping away at Wooseok’s exterior to make his way into the other’s life. But, Wooseok cared about Seungyoun way before he was able to fully claim the title.

“I don’t know, we just were friends.”

“Never anything more?” Yohan turned to face Wooseok, hoping for the response he wants.

“Never did and never will, Seungyoun is almost like a brother. Why?”

“Just wondering..”

Wooseok knew why Yohan asked, but something within Wooseok wanted to hear it from Yohan himself. Relationships are built on trust and Wooseok knows this but, if Yohan won’t talk to him about his feelings, he knows that there can’t be anything between them.

“Okay, I was jealous when I found out that the pyjamas were bought by Seungyoun, like I know he’s your childhood friend but I don’t know..” 

There seemed to be a lot of “I don’t know”s between them lately, a lot of uncertainty but one thing was certain, for Wooseok, they were going to be there for each other. 

Wooseok hoped that the boy would not confess his true feelings of jealous to him, he wanted something to keep him from falling deeper within Yohan’s grasp.

“Are you scared?”

“Of what?”

“The texts? Us?”

“Yes and.. yes.”

Before they knew it, both Yohan and Wooseok were in the middle of the bed, right next to each other. Yohan was scared of overstepping the boundaries, a fool in love. 

“You can hug me if you want.”

Yohan wrapped his arm around Wooseok’s waist as he turned to face Yohan. The younger boy smelt nice, like a field of flowers. Wooseok rested his head on the nook of Yohan’s shoulder as they laid there in silence. 

It was just two people sharing how much they cared for each other, two magnets attracted because opposites, like dogs and cats, are drawn to each other, like butterflies to sweet things. Wooseok closed his eyes, forgetting about the monster behind the messages, since Yohan was here and here to stay. Wooseok went to sleep, hearing only the breaths of Kim Yohan and the quiet purr of the stars.

However, the eternal state of euphoria was not going to last forever.


	6. six.

Wooseok opened his eyes and found their bodies entangled with each other, like a pair of earphones tangled singing the same tune. Fingers interlocked as he realised Yohan was wrapped around him, hugging Wooseok. He could get used to this, waking up to a warmer bed fit for two. It was like every moment in Wooseok’s life was leading to this moment, this feeling, this experience. Wooseok could feel Yohan twirling his hair, it was playful and he liked it. Wooseok turned to face Yohan, he wanted to stare into his eyes.

Wooseok had a thing for eyes, he thinks that you can see people’s thoughts when you look in their eyes and, in Yohan’s, all he could see was himself; all he could see was his reflection, in Yohan’s deep dark eyes. In that moment, he wondered what Yohan saw in his. Seungyoun often told him that there was only deep dark clouds behind him. He hoped that Yohan could see something different, something good, something to break Wooseok’s cold exterior and melt his heart. 

“You’re sweet, hyung. Sweet like honey.” 

Yohan kissed his forehead. Wooseok could hear Yohan’s heartbeat and it was the comforting beat behind their song.

“Pancakes?” Wooseok, finally, stood up and grinned at Yohan.

“Pull me up~” Yohan extended his long arms towards Wooseok. As soon as Wooseok gripped firmly onto his hands, he quickly pulled him down. Wooseok’s pupils shaken and dilated as he look at the younger from above.

“Pancakes sound good.” Wooseok nodded his head in response as Yohan was stroking his cheeks.

“But, I like you more.”

“Kim Yohan. Now is not the time, we’re gonna be late for work.”

Once again, Yohan kissed the older’s forehead as a sign of affection. Something about this felt so right, to Wooseok. He’s seen these scenes in romance films and, although making him feel warm inside, something he would not admit, he would never want something like that to happen to him. Yet, here he was; in Yohan’s arms.

After eating, they quickly showered and changed. Rushing to work was not normal for Wooseok, by this time he would normally be at work already. However, he did not mind this change, as it gave him a thrill, a dose of fun that he seemed to he missing out tomorrow.

They arrived at the store, almost late and merely escaped the wrath of Han Seungwoo. A very scary man, despite only being 2 years older than Wooseok, who gave off a feeling of instability. One minute he could be happy and then one minute angry. 

They sat down at their desk, both panting and a flood of customers coming. Wooseok surprised at the amount of people flowing in. All of them throwing themselves at the cold beverages and opening them without paying. Gulping the drinks down in an instant.

“Hey! You need to pay for those.” Both Seungwoo and Yohan stood up and dashed towards the unwelcome customers, constantly consuming drink after drink. In the blink of an eye, the crowd was frozen and dropped onto the floor. Yohan gestured for Wooseok to stay back. They were lifeless. Wooseok was speechless, he did not know how to react. His mouth gaped open while his eyes glued to the still people on the floor. 

“Yohan-ah, be careful.” 

Yohan nodded and smiled at the older, it seemed like he really did like the younger boy.

“Wooseok, call the hospital and tell them that there are 20 bodies on the floor with no pulse and their mouths are foaming.” Seungwoo commanded Wooseok.

He shakily grabbed the phone, while Yohan checked outside to check their surroundings. 

“Hyung.. look.”

Both Wooseok and Seungwoo peered outside and saw the lifeless bodies spilling out of the chicken store. 

Once the ambulance came, the quarantined the area and pulled Seungwoo, Yohan and Wooseok for questioning and for a medical checkup. 

Wooseok explained everything to the officers, a vivid description of the scenes that occurred before. From the foam spilling out of their mouth to the drunken nature that they had pulling into the store.

_ ping _

**unknown**

Seems like they were a bit dehydrated. 

Oh god. Did the unknown person do this? Yohan could sense the tension coming from Wooseok as he glared at his phone text message.

_ping_

Another text? Wooseok could even his bones sweat from stress.

**Yohannie**

You’re safe, hyung. Safe as long as we’re together. 

Wooseok glanced at Yohan, stare at his phone then at him. They matched each others smiles as Wooseok waddled towards Yohan’s arms. Wooseok showed his message from the stranger to him. He could feel Yohan’s heart race within his chest, fuelled by rage, worry and confusion. His grip on Wooseok tightened as he held him closer to himself.

“We’ll be okay. I promise.”

Wooseok didn’t hear much about the bodies after that. Rumour has it that, it turned out to be a mass rat poison incident. Yohan had been living, temporarily, at his house, for a week now, and, when they heard the news together, Yohan made sure Wooseok felt safe in their home. Their home. Wooseok liked the sound of sharing a house with Yohan in the future.

“Seok hyung, when was the last time you painted?”

“It’s been a few months.”

“You should paint, Seokie.. You’re really good at watercolour.”

Seokie? Seokie! Oh my god! Wooseok could faint at those words coming out of his mouth. His face ripened into a nice red colour and he was so embarrassed about it.

“Hyung, you look like my red hoodie that you’re wearing. Do you like me so much that you’re stealing my clothes?” Yohan leaned over the sofa, his face centimetres away from Wooseok’s face. Wooseok’s brain could not function from the overwhelming amount of thoughts shooting through his mind. Yohan, who has finally stopped teasing Wooseok, sat next to him and changed the channels. 

“Yohan-ah, did you quit your job at the chicken place?”

Yohan did not answer.

“Please, it’s not safe.. Did you not hear from the news that the poisoning originated from there? What if you get hurt too?” Yohan faced Wooseok, and stared at his face just for a little bit. Has Wooseok told you guys about how handsome Yohan was yet? Yes? I’ll spare you his thoughts then. 

“I’ll quit, if.. you tell me you like me.”

“Yohan, now is not the time to be joking around.”

“Who says I’m joking?”

“Why would I lie?”

“You’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t confess. I mean what if I die too? Do you want that to happen to me?”

“Fine, Yohan. You win. ilikeyou.”

“Huh? Hyung, what did you say?”

“ilikeyou.” Yohan’s eyes furrowed as he pretended to be confused, further teasing him.

“I like you, Kim Yohan.” 

Yohan brought his face closer and closer to Wooseok’s. Wooseok closed his eyes, as he was, finally, ready to taste the sweet nectar. A desire, a burning passion from within Wooseok.

“You’ve got something here.” Yohan wiped Wooseok’s cheek. He was perplexed, he really though Yohan would kiss him and was, secretly but obviously, disappointed. Kim Wooseok was pouting and, swiftly, Yohan pecked the older’s lips. 

Kim Wooseok was internally screaming, like a little girl at a romantic movie, except he was the little girl and the film was him. His rollercoaster was going through a loop and he was beginning to become dizzy from the fast spin if the ride. His mouth on fire and needed to be extinguished with another kiss from the taller boy. His heart beating faster than it had ever been before and the room was beginning to heat up. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to be wearing a hoodie but it was Yohan’s and, to Wooseok, that was a good enough. 

The relationship between them was beginning to strengthen quickly, like a recovery from a wound Wooseok did not know he had, but something was going to rip off the plaster and test their bond. Will they trust in each other? or, crumble and fail?


	7. seven.

Thunder echoes through the halls of their home, like a bellowing scream ringing. It had been stormy for weeks on end and, consequently, Yohan and Wooseok had been cooped up at home unable to leave due to flooding. The sun was barely able to pierce through the wide clouds stretching across the sky. Wooseok was sure that the electricity could go out at any moment so he had a stockpile of candles everywhere and told Yohan to keep a lighter on him. Both of them were finally taking their relationship slowly, considering they had only met a couple of months ago. It had been a while since Wooseok had even thought of the mysterious being behind the alleged murders and Yohan was happy about this. He couldn’t bear seeing someone he cared about be paranoid about this. Yohan quit his job delivering chicken and decided to just work delivering pizza, all because of Wooseok. Not a bad thing, if he wanted them to work out, they needed to listen to each other and, when Wooseok asked him to stay over because of the weather, he couldn’t say no.

Lately, it seemed like Yohan spent more time at Wooseok’s house than at his own flat, but literally no one but Seungyoun was complaining. Wooseok and Seungyoun had not seen each other for at least a few days due to the bad weather and the fact that it wasn’t safe to drive in this weather. They couldn’t even call each other because there was practically no service. He was tempted to write Seungyoun a letter but does the mail company even work during this weather? 

“I must be so bored to be asking these questions.” Wooseok thought to himself.

At first, it was exciting, living with his.. his friend? Nope, Wooseok was not going to go there.. too soon. Wooseok would rather think about how they were going to keep eating if the weather was going to keep acting like this.

“Hannie! What are we going to eat?”

“I don’t know? Ramen?”

“If I eat ramen one more time, I will become obese.”

“That’s all the food we have and, don’t worry, I still have the abs you love to glare at.”

Wooseok rolled his eyes so far back, he could swear he could see his own brain thinking about how much he wanted to strangle Yohan.

“Did you fart?”

“Yohan-ah, what.”

“It smells..”

“That’s because you haven’t showered in two days..”

“And you still want to cuddle me??”

Wooseok realised he was practically using the younger as a mattress. Although he was embarrassed, he continued to stay there in that moment absorbing not only the eggy smell of the air but the heat from Yohan’s chest as, once again, Yohan twirled Wooseok’s hair. 

“Can we open a window?”

“The water will come in..”

“Great.”

Hours later, Wooseok complained about having a headache, while the electricity completely turned out. Yohan put Wooseok to put as he was also feeling drowsy. 

“I’ll cook you some soup?”

“Yohan, you’re terrible at cooking.”

He wasn’t wrong.. Yohan was not gifted at cooking. Wooseok likes to joke around because it seems he burns all the toast he makes. 

“I’ll make it delicious, Seok.”

Yohan scurried around the kitchen and grabbed various pots and pans. He really did not know how to make soup and it’s not like he could even search it up on his phone. If we’re being honest, he just created a large clutter in Wooseok’s kitchen. Wooseok’s appliances were not state of the art considering how much he made a month, while juggling three jobs. He really cared about the older male, he felt like he was doing something for Wooseok, since he was taking care of the younger most of the time, like how he’s been living at his house for ages. 

“That’s weird.” The gas wasn’t turning on. 

He could hear a quiet hissing in the from the kitchen, a silent whisper reverberating throughout the home. Yohan was following the foul stench towards a cupboard. He opened the doors and saw a busted pipe of gas leaking through. He could feel himself slowly get dizzy as he felt nauseous. He, quickly, turned off the gas and shrugged it off because of the rain.

Yohan decided to just avoid cooking because of the malfunctioning stove and creeped up the stairs. As he was laying beside Wooseok, he realised how much the older meant to him as Wooseok slept. He watched as Wooseok’s slowly rise and fell while he was wearing Yohan’s hoodie. 

Yohan was falling in love. 

Funny how they call it “falling” because when you fall? there’s no stopping you from hitting the cold hard ground.

The evening sky was a bright purple and peeked through the white blinds in Wooseok (and Yohan)’s room. Wooseok’s eyes were slowly opening. 

“Hyung.”

A familiar voice echoed into Wooseok’s ear. A voice he knows all too well. A distant memory that Wooseok tried too long to forget. he could not dare forget that voice.

“Hyung.”

His eyes finally opened and a dark figure was arching above him. An evil presence peering over the bed. Wooseok’s past was coming back to haunt him, a ghost of his former self clawing it’s way into his life. This is one of Wooseok’s many secrets he keeps buried, but it seems like this secret has managed to rise up from the dead, like a zombie coming for flesh. 

“Lee Hangyul.”


	8. eight.

Wooseok never thought he’d be in this position with someone, who he used to care so deeply about, become so scary right before his eyes. He was not someone who fell in love easily, although you may be thinking differently, due to the fast nature in which Yohan and Wooseok slowly intertwined their lives together. 

Hangyul was one person he almost fell in love with. Almost. But Hangyul broke it off with Wooseok. Ironic? Despite the nature of their breakup, it seems Wooseok was the one who was able to move on, not particularly quickly but moved on nonetheless. 

“Why are you here when you let me go.. years ago.”

“You see. You were so joyful when you were with me but I could tell you were losing yourself in us. It was slowly hurting me to see you change because you were.. because you were becoming someone so lost in love that they were not longer their own person. I was someone who was making you unhappy yet you couldn’t live without me.”

Wooseok could not form any words, feeling truly overwhelmed as years and years came flashing back. Hangyul and Wooseok were something great in the making like a box office hit yet to be released. But Wooseok was truly losing sight of who he was because he was all consumed in the desire to be loved. What Wooseok felt was worse than drowning, Wooseok was slowly becoming part of the sea itself. Hangyul introduced the older to painting, specifically acrylic, but, when they separated, Wooseok did not pick up a paintbrush for a long time. But, in the middle of the night, something clicked within him; he felt the urge to paint, not with acrylic, something free, something light, something flowing. That night he realised all the emotions built within him, like a flood finally piercing through a crack in a dam.

“Am I so handsome that you can’t even focus on anything but my face?”

Wooseok sighed. Why was he even here? Unnatural for someone who decided to break his heart.

Where was.. 

“Yohan’s next door, totally out of it. He’s also chained up to the radiator...” Hangyul made his way over to the door and locked it, “But who cares about him? I want you back. I need you back... and I know you need me to.” 

Hangyul crashed their lips together. It was nothing romantic, you could feel his desperation as Wooseok denied him any sort of confirmation. “Come on, Seokie. We can do this the easy way or the hard way and when I get angry someone might get hurt.” 

No way. Hangyul would never hurt Wooseok,despite risking Wooseok’s life by breaking the gas pipe within his house and causing him to basically pass out. 

“Not you Wooseok. I would never hurt you.”

He meant Yohan, the younger male that was caught up in this mess. For sure this would totally mess up Wooseok’s capability to open to future people because he was sure, if they both survived, Yohan was never talk to him again. 

Hangyul placed his hand on Wooseok’s face and it was ice cold. Totally void of any warmth. It was almost like Hangyul was dead, like a zombie. But that wasn’t true, zombies don’t exist. However, Hangyul really was dead, only on the inside. His sadness was eating him from the inside until it fully took over. 

Wooseok stared into the younger’s eyes, hoping to cause Hangyul to change his mind. 

“You’re doing your little pouty thing right? You’re really handsome.” 

Wooseok wanted to throw up, to spill his guts out. He couldn’t bear to take these feelings that Hangyul was sharing. No words or actions could allow Wooseok to forgive Hangyul anymore, considering he planted the cyanide in the food, and it seems like he sensed this.

“I guess we’ll go the hard way.”

Hangyul opened the door and exited Wooseok’s bedroom, a room which used to be filled with comfort, and now was filled with despair. 

Now, that Hangyul had left the room, he could now try and escape, and that he did.. n’t. Wooseok was not the weakest but he was far from being the strongest he could be. The chains around his wrist were beginning to redden his arms as he struggled to escape.

Suddenly, a large thud happened. “Yohan!?”

Both Hangyul and Yohan could be heard arguing in the hallway outside his room. None of which he could see. He could feel the large steps and jumps each took as they vibrated the flooring beneath all three. Wooseok was tugging at the chains that trapped him against the wall. But to no avail, all he could do was hear the struggling of his dear Kim Yohan.

What could he do but hope for his safety?

He could only do but wonder what he deserved to end up like this. He had finally become happy in himself, even before meeting Yohan (Wooseok doesn’t need a man :P), and yet fate decided to throw him back into the crossfire. A crossfire that will take no kidnappings, leave no survivors and disappear, like the sun on a cloudy day. Hangyul robbed Wooseok of his chance of recovery, from fully removing the cloak encased around his emotions. Not only did he shackle him to the wall, he was now shackled to the past. Probably never moving forward from this event.

Then he heard a thud, then several other thuds adjacent after the first one.

“Wooseok?”

Yohan dashed towards the chains around Wooseok’s arms. He could see the younger’s bloodied lip and bruised eye. He felt sorry towards him because he was not at fault here.. it was all Wooseok. 

Yohan grasped Wooseok’s hand in his and they headed for the exit. They sprinted down the stairs and realised, a little too late, that Hangyul was not to be messed with, a force to be reckoned with because not even the fall from the stairs could take him down.

Yohan instinctively placed Wooseok behind him despite his injuries. The room was a bellowing silence that rung in their ears.

Hangyul’s glare at Yohan was sharp like needles.

The opponent smirked.

“Are you ready for it?”


	9. nine.

Time had frozen as Wooseok's eyes was observing the situation before him. He wanted to yell, to scream or to do anything. Yet, despite the constant screaming in his mind, his body seemed to lag behind, each muscle acting lie wood, unable to move.

He was drowning once again, but this time in something different. The large ocean surrounding him was not full of Yohan's witty words, smiles nor laugh. It was filled with images of his bruised eyes glaring at the ceiling as blood spilt out of his side, in the middle of the street, at the middle of the night. It was filled with the few breaths Yohan was taking as Wooseok was squirming for the phone. And, it was filled with Yohan's last touch on Wooseok's face and his hands leaving a blood stain on their shirts, while he mumbled, with whatever strength he had left, "You're safe, hyung". It was this precarious sea that scared Wooseok as his boat was lost and he was struggling to breathe. 

As he gasped for air, he could see the light leaving Yohan's eyes.

"No. The ambulance is almost here. Don't give.. Don't give up."

All Yohan could do was look at him in the eyes and give him that heart-wrenching smile that made Wooseok fall in love with him in the first place. That goddamn smile, the one that displayed the younger's bunny teeth, the one that played the violin on his heart strings. Before he knew it, the tears began to fall one by one until he could no longer hold back. It was silent again. Not an awkward silence, but not the same as when they would lay next to each other and just admire each other's presence. It was a silence filled with words they couldn't say: the unsure goodbyes and the final "I love you"'s.

Wooseok wanted Yohan to hug him, to tell him everything would be okay. But this was not going to happen. Yohan was laying on the floor, tired and almost-lifeless and Wooseok could do absolutely nothing. The moment still felt surreal. Someone from his past still obsessing over him, well.. not anymore, and Yohan was going to be part of the endless body count of Hangyul's victims. In the news, he would just be another number amongst the others, just a digit, maybe number 57 or 42 or even 119. However, to Wooseok, Yohan was be a name, a name that made his heart feel warm in an endless winter yet, simultaneously, felt like a stinging pain. He would never forget the younger. 

And that's what he said during Yohan's eulogy. Wooseok couldn't talk in anymore detail because it hurt him too much.

The night after Yohan's funeral, he didn't dare to pick up the paintbrush, he couldn't.. it was too painful. Instead, he took to the note book that Yohan loved so much and decided to write all the feelings from within.

* * *

Dear Kim Yohan,

It hurts to write this, you know? Earlier today I saw you lying there, eyes closed and still looking handsome. Your parents are taking this well, I can see how well they took care of you growing up and that's why you're so amazing. They asked me to speak at your funeral and I couldn't say no. While I was up there, I wanted to be angry at you. I wanted to shout how stupid and foolish and dumb and reckless you were for trying to save me. You could've just ran away and yet you didn't because you were a fool in love. Now you're not here.

Seungyoun says he misses you, but, maybe I'm selfish, he doesn't miss you the way I do. I woke up this morning expecting your limbs wrapped around me. I think I might buy a new bed, a single one, because the space beside me is way too large for me. Your body imprint is still here. Your toothbrush is still here. Your clothes are still here. They still smell of you, they smell of a summer night spent under the stars. I miss you.

Your body is being buried tomorrow, I don't know if I can bear to watch you be let down five feet under. Sometimes, I hope that everyone is just joking and that you'll open your eyes any minute and your laugh fills the room like my favourite song. Except I need to get over the fact that you aren't. Your eyes are closed and although your body is still here, it no longer feels like your presence is here anymore and that scares me.

One day, your name will no longer hurt and I won’t wince at hearing it, I’ll be able to smile at the words “Kim Yohan.” But that day will not come soon because there’s a big gap in my home and my heart that will never be filled. I want to get something tattooed in your memory but I’m too afraid of needles to do so. But I’ll try. You deserve it and you deserved something so much better than me. I hope something will remind me of you, in 20 years, and I’ll cry tears of something other than sadness.

That's one thing I hate about you, you gave me hope. You gave me something to believe about. Not some deity from above or some super famous person that I'll never meet. It's someone who showed me a life full of joy in a world that is so harsh. It's someone who is so great that they deserved to be somewhere else. I don't believe in angels or idols. I believe in something enough for me.

_I believe in you._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has finally come to an end at last.  
Thank you for joining me and reading this fic and I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> :'D


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